Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Is it curtains for my atheism?

I felt the need to create this blog because, quite honestly, I don’t think anyone will read it.

Let me rephrase that, so as not to sound too cynical.

I KNOW no one will read it. There, that’s better!

Anyway, I’m on (self-imposed) leave from IIDB where I have served as a moderator for several months now. I’ve enjoyed my time there and the people are great. But I may not be able to stay there much longer, even after my exile ends. Or if I do, I’ll just moderate and post in the “fun” sections (like the Lounge) and not in the “upper fora”.

Mainly because I feel myself slip-slidin’ towards Christianity again (specifically Catholicism), and folks at IIDB don’t take too kindly to that sorta thing.

But it’s not really something I have a lot of control over. Oh wait, let me rephrase that. I *do* have control over it, in the sense that it’s the end result of the books I’ve been reading during the last several months. I’ve been reading about EVPs and reincarnation, not the silly New Age stuff I was never attracted to (Shirley Maclaine? great actress, should stick to that), but sensible, rational people who have had experiences they can’t explain.

And I do think there is “something out there”, and once I start believing in the possibility of ANYTHING supernatural, it’s not that hard to believe in the supernatural religion I’m so thoroughly indoctrinated in – Catholicism.*

Now I myself have never experienced anything even remotely supernatural. The closest I came was when I was in college and I lit some candles in front of my window on All Hallows Eve, then went for a walk in the commons, then looked back towards my window and saw that I’d set the curtains on fire. It was supposed to set my SOUL on fire, but didn’t quite work.

But – I have read a few books lately which made me wonder. So as I said, once I start wondering, it’s like a switch inside my brain gets flipped – from “atheist” to “theist” – and it’s just a matter of time before I go back to confession.

More on that next time.

(* Not that there’s anything wrong with that, per se – it’s a lovely faith and there is much to say in favor of it. But I do have some problems with it, which I’ll get to in a later entry.)

Next: Feet firmly planted in quicksand


At September 18, 2007 at 9:12 PM , Blogger Timothy said...

Greetings! Found your post in Google's Blogsearch and came to read. I read everything. So much for nobody reading your blog.

Christ is currently re-uniting His church and its time for you to return to the fullness of faith that is the Catholic Church.

Yur comment on wavering is the result of grace. God in His mercy has provided you sufficient grace to feel the tug towards His church. One confession and you'll be awash in grace.

We'll leave a light burning next to the tabernacle for you.

God bless...

At September 19, 2007 at 8:54 AM , Blogger Aunt Chrissy said...

Oh no, someone's reading my blog? pressure, pressure! lol! (thanks, timothy!)


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